Gods damn it!
Three umpires met for a drink. The first was a rookie, the second was in the middle of his career, and the third had been calling games for forty years. They chewed the fat for awhile, telling stories about their favorite moments behind the plate. After awhile the topic shifted to calling balls and strikes. The first umpire, confident in the accuracy of his eye, said, "There's balls and there's strikes, and I call them like they is." The second umpire, knowing from experience that his perception was occasionally off, said, "You're partly right, there's balls and there's strikes, but I call 'em like I see 'em." The third umpire chuckled, sipped his whiskey, and said, "You're both wrong. There's balls and there's strikes, but they ain't nothin' until I call 'em." I first heard this story 25 years ago, as part of a lecture series at the University of Manchester by Schubert M. Ogden. The title of ...